I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
