I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
