Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
