even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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