he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize