Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
