I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
