Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
pop tarts are not kleenex
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
