Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Boobs are out for the taking
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
