He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i think i just lost a toe
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
