oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
