YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
