i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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