Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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