My liver just broke up with me...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
