I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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