It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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