i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
