3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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