It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Even my vagina gasped.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
