Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
pray to the hookup gods
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