"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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