the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
