It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
