is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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