i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
