Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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