I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
