I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
