I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize