I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So many bounce houses so little time
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
