I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize