I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
