My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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