i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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