Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
