Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
