okay pat passed out under dana's car
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
