yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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