He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?