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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  didn't feel it. :)

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wait what? so it's not in america?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts

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• (407): View more from Florida

  You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I run away from you last night?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship

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• (646): View more from New York

  Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?

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