Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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  (732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs
  Replies (9) Good night (2844) Bad night (1180)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (4127) Bad night (694)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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  (703): I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going. http://tfl.nu/roti
  Replies (45) Good night (2051) Bad night (5047)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.

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  (608): The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well. http://tfl.nu/1rx6
  Replies (8) Good night (5836) Bad night (969)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself

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  (204): Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself http://tfl.nu/03x0
  Replies (9) Good night (1152) Bad night (3837)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.

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  (212): The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line. http://tfl.nu/abdb
  Replies (5) Good night (3176) Bad night (1414)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

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  (909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night? http://tfl.nu/ont9
  Replies (14) Good night (1114) Bad night (4307)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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  (913): you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro. http://tfl.nu/rmdo
  Replies (5) Good night (4709) Bad night (900)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.

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  (903): Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication. http://tfl.nu/g1e0
  Replies (18) Good night (2376) Bad night (1318)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot

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  (815): i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot http://tfl.nu/m7cq
  Replies (4) Good night (1182) Bad night (3061)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

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  (269): We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka. http://tfl.nu/2nmd
  Replies (7) Good night (1397) Bad night (678)
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (820)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived

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  (561): And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived http://tfl.nu/iher
  Replies (5) Good night (445) Bad night (879)
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  (465): View more from

  The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.

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  (465): The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail. http://tfl.nu/oo2l
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (354)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My dick looks like crazy bread

  (480): View more from Arizona

  pics are now mandatory

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  (801): My dick looks like crazy bread (480): pics are now mandatory http://tfl.nu/f7ji
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (720)

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