At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things