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Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
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