Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too

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(207): View more from Maine

in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask

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(336): View more from North Carolina

you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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(219): View more from Indiana

Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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(563): View more from Iowa

he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.

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(360): View more from Washington

Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Nope.

(360): View more from Washington

You kept saying you had to be safe.

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