I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
