if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I touched a dick in church today
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize