so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
