Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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