I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
