the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize