so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
