their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
