I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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