one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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