I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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