youre lurking in front of me
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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