I wish you could order shots online.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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