what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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